Thia Khwezi, a Remarkable Young Woman from Cape Town

I had the privilege of meeting Khwezi at the AIDS 2024 conference, where she was introduced to me by her dear friend Julianna. At 18, Khwezi’s journey is of strength, courage, and resilience. Growing up in Cape Town, South Africa, she faced challenges that most of us can only imagine.

As a child, Khwezi was told by her social worker that she had “germs” in her body and that taking her daily medication would help eliminate them. For years, she accepted this explanation. But at the age of 13, curiosity got the best of her. She searched the internet to learn more about these mysterious “germs.” Surprisingly, she found nothing that matched what she had been told. Confused and concerned, Khwezi confronted her mother, asking what these germs were and why she needed the medication.

Her mother took her to see their social worker again. It was then that Khwezi learned the truth: she was HIV positive. The news shattered her. Khwezi was overcome with fear, believing she was going to die. She remembers the overwhelming emotions as she cried uncontrollably on public transport, feeling the stares of strangers as she made her way home.

When Khwezi finally arrived home, she sought answers from her mother. How did this happen? How did she contract HIV? Her mother explained that she had contracted it from her father. This revelation sparked a deep anger in Khwezi, and she stopped speaking to her father for weeks, grappling with feelings of betrayal and hurt.

As she navigated adolescence, Khwezi faced additional challenges. She entered a relationship with a boy, but her fear of transmitting HIV led her to end it. She withdrew from relationships for a time, terrified of the consequences. At 15, loneliness drove her to start dating girls, believing it would be safer and that HIV transmission was less likely. “I was kind of protecting boys,” she reflected. At that time, she wasn’t aware of the concept of U=U (Undetectable = Untransmittable).

However, as time went on, Khwezi realized that pretending to be someone she wasn’t was taking a toll on her mental health. “I am straight,” she admits, recalling the emotional struggle of maintaining a façade. The stress of pretending to be a lesbian left her feeling empty and disconnected. She vividly remembers a moment with her ex-girlfriend where a kiss felt so wrong that she recoiled, asking, “What are you doing?” Now, she can laugh and say, “I’m fine.”

Today, Khwezi is in her first year of studying marketing, though her true passion lies in economics. Although she missed this year’s application deadline, she is determined to pursue her dream of becoming an economist.

Khwezi’s message to those newly diagnosed with HIV is one of hope and empowerment: “You can do it. Take things one step at a time. The only difference is you will have to take the medication, one pill a day, and get on with your life.”